I have had my 2 week review this week (yesterday) and it was positive woohoo! In these past two weeks I have felt so much better in myself and with my situation. Finally back on a road.. a less bumpy one I think.
Marcia said I’d done really well but I didn’t actually realise until I listed my past few weeks for her so I may as well list them here! She said I’ve come a long way but I didn’t realise I had so…
- I started my dissertation (finally)!
- I applied and got granted extended deadlines.
- Today I started bootcamp – she didn’t mind that I’d not been to the gym thank god but I really enjoyed bootcamp today and it has inspired me so much to get back to where I want to be! Thank you to Amy Stringfellow.
- I went to uni quite a bit.
- I got through to an assessment for a graduate programme – obviously I need my degree first so that’s where I am going with that. My uni tutor was so buzzing for me, she was like a Cheshire cat.
- Booked honeymoon to Sri Lanka – this isn’t really an achievement but I just wanted to tell you.
- I went to Ali’s rugby Prop Idol with people I had never met (officially) and you know what I het myself up about it soooo much beforehand and you know what when I walked in, I sat so quiet talking to nobody because I was that anxious but after a few pints I was talking to everyone without Ali having to hold my hand. Like I said in my last post, letting go of reassurance is not easy but I think I am getting there and doing things to push myself for me! I absolutely loved the night. We also went to a wedding fayre the day after with another two couples from rugby and I’d never thought I would be able to do that a few weeks ago.
- I am going back to work tomorrow after being off sick for 4 weeks. Shitting it but I can do this!
I think thats about it but apparently thats a good start. I think I am getting somewhere and I know that these are little things to some people but to me right now they are not.
CBT is definitely about realising that the baby steps are the biggest and I have taken them and found my motivation and determination again. Sometimes you just need a little time out and figure out which path you need to be on. I think I am getting my mojo back. Yasssss.
We went through the worry tree in CBT this week which is about in my words ‘situational’ worry – is it something that you can change? Yes – change it. I worry too much about what other people think and need to get out of this habit which I am starting to change a little bit at a time.
In other news, I now enjoy watching rugby- its such a social event!
Not sure this post has even been that good but I’ve written it anyway.
Over and out
I have just read parts 1 & 2 of your CBT journey and it is lovely to see the progress you have made in such a short amount of time. There will be ups and downs but try and keep riding this positive wave for as long as possible – writing about the things you are proud of like you’ve done here certainly helps prolong that. I have experienced, and still do relate to, some of the things you are working on and think it is wonderful for you to speak so openly about your sessions. Remember: the key to your own happiness & success is, and always has been, inside yourself. You can do this xo