I did try and write and explain why but I just couldn’t so I am sorry!


So I have just re-read the long post I posted about a month ago and still find it all so true, however I am in a new situation and I think it is a little bit kind of crazy how much I have changed and grown since then.


When you have that one person that you’re always gonna go back to. 

When no matter where or what they’re doing, you’re always gonna think about them. 

BUT when they’re not in your life, you’re okay and doing fine but as soon as they even so much as say hey and a few messages it’s like that’s all you want and need no matter what’s happened in the past and how many times they’ve fucked you over. Yeah, I have someone like that and it’s not fair because it’s like he has so much control over me but he doesn’t at the same time because we’re not together, and never have been. 

I feel harsh speaking to other people, yet we barely speak. Those few messages were enough to send me into some sort of frenzy of come at me. Then words are said and deep messages spoken and now I don’t know what to trust because of our history. 

I can’t stop thinking about him, it’s crazy and it’s always been like that. Always. But when it’s out of sight out of mind, I’m fine. 

I know when, I say when in optimism, it’ll be amazing but until then.. It just hurts in a very strange way. 

Can’t cope 😂


Over and out.